Success in love and relationships series
By Ambrose Nwaopara
MAKING THE BEST OF A RELATIONSHIP
Relationship can come in various ways; it could be between a man and a woman in a marriage union or between a man and a woman who are dating or in courtship, for the purpose of becoming married in future. It could also be between two or more people who are only in friendship, but which may lead them into some other things in future.
WHAT IS NEEDED IN FRIENDSHIP
Someone may decide to have as many friends as possible, because he thinks that it makes him more acceptable and reliable. The main problem in getting involved with many friends at the same time is that of having to relate to many people, which will most likely result in disappointment and quilt. This is because it would definitely be a difficult thing to see them all.
It has been discovered that women in particular find themselves in the situation of relating to many people because tradition has bequeathed in them with the role of care-giver. For this reason, it is difficult for a woman to look the other way, especially in a situation when she is expected to lend a helping hand. As in other relationships too, she usually see her role as that of giving instead of that of receiving.
For you to have a fulfilling relationship, you should bear in mind that giving is a two-way thing. You have to realize that your needs are important as well. It is very vital to learn to say no, when one cannot be able to do something for a friend. Everyone has his or her own problem, so do not try to overstress yourself unnecessary.
It is very essential to know the kind of person you spend time with and for how long. You should have been able to study your friends by now and know what each of them provides you. For instance, you should be able to know which of them gives you stability. Which of them comes to your mind when you need comfort? Do you have a particular one just for having fun? When you identify what each of them gives you, you can build on that.
It is also a good thing to confront a friend if he or she does not give you happiness any longer. There is no need avoiding such a person, because you may meet again and still go through the same thing. When you boldly tell the person how he or she has hurt you, that confrontation, if you are still in talking terms will bring a lot of changes in the relationship, as you will enjoy a better relationship in future.
By knowing your friends, you will be able to know who you are as well. You will discover that part of you that really needs to be enhanced, developed and strengthened. Usually, your friends would most likely be the ones like you as well. This is generally referred to as ‘birds of the same feathers’. You have the same emotion and behavior. If for instance, you are insecure, you are likely going to attract people who are needy; sometimes doing away with a kind of troublesome friendship may not be solution to the problem. For instance, helping a friend who is struggling with anger may give you an in right into how to find compassion and forgiveness. Also if you can persuade your friend who is too dependent to be more self reliant, you will be able to learn how to protect yourself emotionally as well.
Remember that in a true friendship, you must have to be your real self. This is because your real friends will accept you the way you are not for the reason of the things you do for them or for your popularity, but just because you are who you are.
Always try to build strength from within you, as you can hardly find that complete approval and happiness from other people. Really, it is when you learn to do this that you will discover how easy it is to accept love and approval from other people and this will be to your great advantage.
To be continued (COMING SOON PART 2)